Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
