found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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