Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
