i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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