i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
