I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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