I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize