i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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