this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
What drink are we having for lunch?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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