I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize