pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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