We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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