Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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