we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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