Where are you?
In a non slutty way
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
