My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
