can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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