Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
