how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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