you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
