dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
