Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
