Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
