living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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