Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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