my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just found puke in my bra..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
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