I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
