If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
