I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
only you would photoshop your dick
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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