i don't like sucking hair
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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