Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
