that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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