The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
