Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
