So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
