Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
