Porn is love you can see.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
