I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
