well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
