Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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