Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
