She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize