can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I need water and some morals
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize