yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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