as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
