Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
