The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
