I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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