I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
