I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
