hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
