she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
