It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
