mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
no. you can't hotbox the world.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
