Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
