Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize