Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
