I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
