I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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