I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize