just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
