I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
