i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
