I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
