there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
