I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
