right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
