would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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