I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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