Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
