I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
