let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
