is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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